Toxic Diet Culture and Happiness: A conversation with an a**hole

What is Toxic Diet Culture like? After almost 15 years as a dietitian, I can tell you- because I've talked to him many times.

Toxic Diet Culture has spoken to me through my clients, my friends, social media- for years. I don't care for him.

"Be as thin as possible," he whispers to the 12-year old girl. "You're doing a great job skipping lunch. Your friends will like you better."

He peers at me from behind his oversized, trendy glasses, "I really like when I can see bones." His breath stinks- he doesn't really think about health or hygiene, just looks.

"Why do you care so much about bones?" I ask him. He tells me that small means successful. That your weight is your worth, and it makes him uncomfortable when people don't conform to his rules.

I object. "We are all worthy", I tell Toxic Diet Culture. "We have inherent worth by existing, bringing our parents joy from the moment we were conceived. From sharing the same air as birds and sharks. From moving this air into trees. From loving and being loved."

Toxic Diet Culture loves food tracking.

I tell him about a client in a nutrition therapy group that I lead. They said they try to reject him- Diet Culture- but he sneaks into their house through their mom and sister who go to the gym together then body check and skip meals together in what they believe is the solidarity of virtue.

"Yes, that is f*cking beautiful," Diet Culture grabs his crotch and laughs. "I love it when they do it together- it really gives me confidence that I'm right and Happiness is wrong."

Happiness, I love her. "Can I ask her to join us?" I inquire. "I think she'd have a lot to say here." I ring her up, and she bounces vibrantly toward us, flowing green skirt, an aura of radiant acceptance and openness and joy. Hello, Happiness, I say.

"Can't we find you, Happiness, without trying to control our body and trying to shrink?" I ask her. Toxic Diet Culture is now puffing his chest and sucking in his stomach- he is also a victim of his own ideology. He knows Happiness threatens his whole schtick.

"Hello, Toxic," Happiness smiles. "You promote perfectionism in looks and health like a machine that pumps out anxious people, and this smallness pursuit is holding me hostage."

"This smallness extends to our authentic essence," she continues. "When we restrict ourselves nourishment, we are restricting our personal power and joy too".

"But people want to be better," he says. "I've convinced them that they can't find you unless they go through me first! They NEED me!" His eyes were flickering with the fervor of a feral cat.

Happiness was undeterred. She calibrated at a much higher vibration than Toxic Diet Culture. He didn't seem to bother her at all. Her power made me feel safe.

"I'm always here," she breathes it more than says it. "No one needs to go through you- when they can connect to the present moment, and not worry about the body, I'm available to them at all times."

I hugged Happiness, feeling that her body was actually changing like a flip book, from moment to moment. She was all sizes, all at once.

"I'm available to everyone," her gaze like warmth and home. It felt like the love that emanates from a mother, from a lover, from a child- reaching out into the world with genuine care. She whispered something in my ear. And then she was gone.

"What did she say?" Toxic Diet Culture demanded with impatience. He knew that Happiness had the power to make him disappear forever, engulfed by reason and hope.

"She said, 'People are starting to trust themselves more, and need him less.' Eventually, everyone will see that body diversity is natural, that self-care isn't about shrinking, and that health and Happiness can be pursued directly- totally skipping over you." I felt effervescent, my words sounding more like solid truth than opinion as they danced across the air to him. He's held so much influence in my past conversations.

He spat at the ground at my feet.

"People will always need me. I'm inescapable. I've been way to active in convincing people that their bodies are wrong- I'm a social media prodigy! I'm at their dinner tables, in their lunchrooms, in the bathroom at work and school, in the mirror- every time they grab their fat! Fat is gross! I will always steal Happiness away from them, holding her until they reach the impossible size I want them to!"

"You are wrong," I tell it. "There is nothing wrong with having fat on our very human bodies. Bodies that need fat to live. Bodies that are naturally, genetically different. Diversity is what makes our world more beautiful."

I stare at him, and I feel sorry for him. He is just as miserable as he wants everyone else to be.

"I'm going for a bike ride with Happiness now, " I tell him. And I do. Not because I want to lose weight, but because I want to share air with the birds.

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